Therapy with Arkham's Finest
by HeavenLost
Summary: Victoria Gyrl starts up Circle Time with Arkham's Craziest Criminals but is having second thoughts. NO swears, NO smut, not much violence, just a load of loonies playing games. 'T' only because of the Joker's presence. You know what he's like.


**Ok, guys. This is my first EVER fanfic so wish me luck, this is just an idea I had that I thought might make a pretty good story. Here we go then…**

Victoria Gyrl nervously rubbed the back of her neck and wriggled slightly in her seat. She knew she was taking a chance when she volunteered to host the group therapy meeting for 'Arkham's Most Dangerous/Insane' - as she had privately named them (or AMDI for short) - but back then, in the safety of her office, it didn't seem like that much of a risk. Now, with the AMDIs sitting in front of her, it felt like much more of a big deal - despite the fact that they each had several restraints keeping them under control. Suddenly the idea for these meetings, suggested by a colleague of her seemed patently ridiculous - the theory was that, by observing the group talking and reacting to each other, the doctors of Arkham Asylum would collect more information about them than if they were dealt with singularly. Besides, this way you only needed one doctor to suggest ideas, takes notes and - most importantly - keep an eye on them.

It had sounded like an easy job when she received the memo and so, naturally enough, she had volunteered for it. She was new in the city, having recently arrived in Gotham City from her previous home in England - the accent was still strong in her voice -, and only now was she understanding why no-one else had wanted the job.

Victoria shuddered; it was obvious why the people sitting before her were placed under the AMDI category: they were clearly several guns short of a mob. She smiled thinly at the image - and then snapped back to the task at hand. The AMDIs were staring at her curiously and no wonder, she thought guiltily, grinning to herself like that probably made it seem like she should be participating in their little therapy session rather than analysing it.

"So…uh…" she began hesitantly, flipping her hair over her shoulder (a nervous trait of hers), "I'm Dr. Gyrl and … perhaps, well, we could start by you introducing yourselves and saying a little about you…?" her voice trailed off and she looked hopefully at the women sitting to her left. The six chairs, five containing criminals and one for herself, were placed in a circle so that everyone could see everyone else - while still being far enough away from each other to do no harm if one of them went crazy. Crazi_er_, Victoria mentally corrected herself.

"Hiya!" the young women sitting next to her was quite pretty, with blonde pigtails and a large smile, but Victoria couldn't help but feel that there was something off about her, "I'm Harley, Harley Quinn, and until recently I used to work here." She looked fondly at the man to _her_ left, "your turn, puddin'!"

He licked his lips and Victoria couldn't help but feel rather apprehensive, "My name's the, uh, Joker." he stated flatly and it was clear that no amount of persuading would get him to reveal anything else about his past.

Victoria felt she had to try though, "And…"

"And that's it," he replied, popping the 't'," unless you want to know how I got these scars…?" he gave a sinister cackle.

"No, fine, it's quite alright," Victoria said hurriedly, "moving on … you are?" she knew, of course, exactly who everyone was but she thought it might be encouraging for them to be introduced to each other formally. Maybe.

"I am the twisted words of a liar but also the rushed sentences of the truth. The hushed whispers of secrets and the tortured screams of agony. The sound of life and the silence of death."

She nodded and jotted this down. The Riddler, of course, was completely incapable of giving a straight answer about anything.

The next man simply said, "I am the Scarecrow." and left it at that. After her short exchange with the Joker, she decided to just let them alone when it came to saying anything about themselves.

"Poison Ivy." Victoria sighed inwardly, but said nothing.

"Alright then," she exclaimed, feigning cheerfulness, "how about we do a few exercises to get familiar with each other?" and then, before anyone could comment, "that was a rhetorical question, by the way."

**Is it alright for a first chapter? Do you like it? Is it terrible? Please tell me! Also, the 'exercises' mentioned in the last paragraph are things you, the reader, will be coming up with. I basically need dares - 'trust gaining tasks' -, questions - nothing like "OMG!1!1! I LOVE THE JOKER, ASK HIM TO MARRY ME!1!", more similar to "Oh, what's your favourite thing to do in the morning?" or "What would you do if you were going to die tomorrow?" - and games - just for 'fun'! - to help me with this story. Also, first person to find the private joke I've hidden in Victoria's name wins a lot of influence with me.**


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